Now that I’ve started performing, I’m suddenly very aware of what my body is doing as a room full of eyes point at me. I wish I could focus only on the songs themselves, playing the right notes, and controlling my voice, but when my bra strap starts falling off my shoulder or my hair goes in my mouth it’s hard not to get distracted.
Perhaps the most difficult thing for me to figure out is where to look. So far we’ve been performing in smaller venues where every single face in the audience is clearly in view. Sometimes it’s someone I know. If it’s a complicated song, I usually have to spend a lot of time looking at the instrument I’m playing. But as I get better at playing, I find that I’m free to scan the room. I’ve tried making direct eye contact, looking just above heads, staring into space, looking at walls, and various combinations of all of those things. The fact that I’m so conscious of it is taking the focus away from the important thing: playing the song without screwing up.
I saw this video on NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert a few months ago and was mesmerized by Teri Gender Bender (from Le Butcherettes) and the way she was staring down not only people in the room, but the camera as well. I really like her music, but was most struck by the intense connection that she was making as she forced her eyes on everyone.
Leave a Reply